Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
