My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have aggressive nipples.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
