what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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