I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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