This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
how does that bad decision feel?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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