come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
