I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
