i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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