so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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