he wants to bone in the snuggie
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
