its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize