I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I could fuck to npr.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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