I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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