I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
