I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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