it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Did I show you my penis last night?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
