My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
