My balls are so social today.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i out mim tonsoeep
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
