I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
