addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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