you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she told me i tasted like america
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Someone signed my nipple.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize