I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize