The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize