What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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