I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
