Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
