I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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