I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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