you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
