So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize