He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
