Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she looked like the before picture.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
