I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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