I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
