I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
