i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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