my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize