fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
