did you get engaged???
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Small penises have feelings too.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I AM VODKA MAN
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
