no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
as a side note pls kill me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
