This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
