Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
