Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just gift wrapped bread.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
