i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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