Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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