could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
