Hey man sorry I got all grabby
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
