He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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