Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
