We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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