Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
