well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
