Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We need to get me chipped asap
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
