Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
