Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
