everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
