You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize