I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
