its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
