so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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