you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
