whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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